Unseen Academicals - Terry Pratchett at the height of his powers!

I admit it - I have read A LOT of Terry Pratchett, and enjoyed pretty much all of them, but Unseen Academicals, which I have just read in print, is an absolute tour-de-force. We have some familiar characters from the Discworld in the form of the wizards from Unseen University - but the main focus is on four new faces from "below stairs". There are two cooks - down to earth Glenda who loves her romantic novels, and the beautiful Juliet who is a bit of a airhead but sweet and innocent with it. And then there are two servants - Trevor Likely, who lives in the shadow of his famous footballing father, and the mysterious Mr Nutt - ridiculously polite and brilliant at everything he tries, but with an undercurrent of something nobody can quite put their finger on, not even him! The traditional football of the masses on Discworld bears little relation to the game we know today - all shoving, pushing, violence and very little sight of the actual ball ... then again! But this tradition comes under threat from the ruling classes who want to civilise it. The wizards are forced to get a team together to ensure the future of the University, and their opposition will be made up of the best and worst players from the traditional city teams of the city of Ankh-Morpork. With no magic being allowed during the game, it would seem that the wizards are at a huge disadvantage - but with Mr Nutt, Trevor, Glenda and Juliet on their side, the odds are somewhat evened out. With trolls, dwarfs, orcs, vampires, fashionistas and general oiks featuring too, this book has a bit of everything. I loved it and literally laughed out loud around 30 times - which will always give any book the thumbs up from me. If you are a fan of football, bizarre characters and belly laughs - then this is the book for you. Highly, highly recommended.

My STAR rating: FIVE (as if you had to guess)

Length: 541 print pages.
Price I paid: £1.50 (from a charity shop).
Formats available: print,  unabridged audio, abridged audio, ebook.

Which came first, the chicken or the egg?

In the book - Life, Liberty and the Pursuit of Sausages by Tom Holt, this question is central to the plot. The book, which I read in audio format, starts in the mind of a pig, who is wondering where her piglets go when they leave the sty and figures out that to find out, she needs to get out of the sty herself and go into the horsebox in the farmyard - as that is the last place she sees her piglets go. She eventually gets her wish and makes it to the horsebox ... and then disappears herself. That's the opening chapter of this most unusual, but highly entertaining of books. We then go to the offices of a property developer, where one of the legal team is starting to worry that either someone is sneaking into her office and drinking her coffee, plus doing some of her work when she isn't there ... or, she is losing her mind. She seeks help from her brother when she goes to pick up her dress from the local dry cleaners only to discover that the shop has disappeared. And so begins a journey of discovery for the siblings as they try to come to terms with, and find an explanation to, these and all the other strange things that start to happen around them. Could it really be magic? Meanwhile, in the dry cleaners, Mr and Mrs Williams have got used to years of waking up in a different town - same shop, but different view! They can't quite remember how long ago "it" started, but they have adapted to things being the way they are. They just have to remember not to go into the downstairs toilet at 10.30am - when all manner of odd noises start to emanate from the smallest room in the house. As if all this stuff wasn't odd enough - we also have humans turning into chickens. This is a smart and funny book. A bit twisted, but a great read. I really don't know what it must be like in Tom Holt's head, but it must be a fun place to be. Slowly, slowly, all the disparate strands of the story come together and it's a very satisfying end. Really glad I've found this author - will definitely be delving into more.

My STAR rating: FOUR

Length: 368 print pages.
Price I paid: £7.99
Formats available: print, audio, ebook.

A very personal autobiography

A Jethart Laddie, by Anthony Morpeth is a self-published autobiography by someone I used to work with, but, after his retirement, played much golf with! He has penned an autobiography, which he used to talk about doing when we were playing golf ... and it has finally seen the light of day. Five years in the making, it is a very personal portrait of a man from humble beginnings in Jedburgh, Scotland, who had a happy childhood during and after the second world war when there was a remarkable amount of freedom for children - and many adventures to be had out and about in the local environs. Some of the tales would make a health and safety officer weep! Tony decided that the life for him was in the CO-OP as a baker and confectioner ... but it was not to be. After two years as an apprentice, he left because her felt he wasn't actually being taught anything. His father then gave him an ultimatum - get your job back, or join the army. Tony joined the army and so began his adult life proper. Working in communications, he was posted to Hong Kong and then Berlin and then other parts of Germany. We see Tony get married and raise three boys, as well as advance up the ranks in the army. It's not all plain sailing, but, on the whole, Tony cruised through his time in the army and 23 years flew by in an instant! The book ends just as he leaves the forces - when he says his life became decidedly less exciting. Whilst I started reading this book out of a sense of obligation to a friend, I really enjoyed it. Finding out about the people and events which form a man before you knew him is fascinating, and you start to see why someone has the opinions or attitudes to life that they have. This book is not available to the mainstream booktrade, but then I suspect the audience would be restricted to those who know the author. But that's okay by me. I feel quite honoured to have been given the opportunity to read this very personal portrait of a man, knowing that I will be one of the few to do so. Thanks Tony for letting me get to know you better. 

My STAR rating: THREE

Length: 310 print pages.
Price I paid: Free (Tony has let me borrow a copy).
Formats available: print.

Satire on war - can it work?

Talk about chalk and cheese - my latest book is so far removed from Dickens that it's almost like reading a book in an entirely different language! Toploader, by Ed O'Loughlin (which I read in print) is set in a fictional (and yet, I suspect, realistic) war zone. The action opens with a donkey, apparently minding its own business, suddenly blowing up! This act of terrorism is what some of the war correspondents have been waiting for, as well as the military men - who now have a great excuse for bombing the Embargoed Zone. In the EZ, the residents have almost nothing - not even hope. But one of them - Cobra - has found a way to survive - by being an agent for the military on the other side of the wall. On his side, all are assumed to be terrorists, and are under constant threat from faceless drone attacks and shelling from the military beyond "the wall" who are there to maintain control. But it seems to be a totally artificial state of affairs. The terrorists don't seem to exist except in the minds of the military commanders who want to keep the status quo of fear and mistrust in order to line their pockets as well as inflict pain on anyone that gets in their way. Much of the action is fuelled by the media, who are desperate for "something newsworthy" to happen, and are implicit in creating it when needs must. When Cobra suddenly finds himself in the middle of a scam to do with a Toploader washing machine liberated from the army stores - little does he realise that this could lead to his untimely demise.

This is a dark, dark satire. There are funny bits, but it's desperately depressing too, probably because I can actually believe that there are elements that could be true. We have a great heroine - Flora - who is trying to keep her family together, and alive, who comes across one of the "pilots" of the drones in the EZ where he really shouldn't be - but at least he sees what effect his computerised war has at first hand. We have Captain Smith and his henchman who are totally corrupt and who run Cobra in the EZ, but care little for his well-being. Very few of the characters come out of this with anything to recommend them - except Flora. However, this is a good read, although definitely one for the strong of stomach and an eye-opener for anyone who thinks there is honour in a war where you can kill unarmed civilians at the touch of a button from the safety of your bunker.

My STAR rating: FOUR

Length: 289 print pages.
Price I paid:  free from local library.
Formats available: print, ebook.